In a recent podcast, comedian and former host of The Daily Show, Trevor Noah, tackled a topic that resonates with parents everywhere: understanding the inner worlds of our children. In the episode “For Kids or Anyone Who’s Been a Kid,” Noah speaks with young children who express profound insights about how they see adults, especially their parents. They perceive parents as constantly tired, future-focused, and often too cautious to just let go and enjoy the present. The kids voiced a desire for their parents to “chill out” and trust them, letting them explore and grow in ways that can often feel restricted by adult anxieties and responsibilities.
This sentiment rings especially true at Voyagers’ Community School, where the philosophy revolves around fostering curiosity, independence, and experiential learning. Children are naturally inclined to explore the world with wonder, and when given the freedom to follow their instincts, they gain confidence, creativity, and resilience. But what would happen if we, as parents, embraced a more childlike approach in our lives and interactions with our children? Could it lead to stronger connections, deeper learning, and greater joy in our families?
The Benefits of Playfulness and Spontaneity
Play isn’t just a break from “real” life; it’s a powerful way of engaging with it. According to research, play strengthens cognitive development and improves emotional well-being in children. In adults, adopting a playful mindset has been shown to reduce stress, improve problem-solving abilities, and strengthen social bonds (Brown, 2009). By creating an environment where parents can feel comfortable “playing,” it shifts the family dynamic, making it easier for children to connect with their parents and for parents to understand their children’s perspectives.
Actionable Tip: Incorporate more unstructured playtime into family life. Whether through spontaneous dance parties, cooking together without a recipe, or letting children lead an activity, these moments allow parents to enter a world where they and their children are on the same level, exploring together.
Letting Go of Future-Focused Anxiety
A key takeaway from the podcast is the kids’ perception that adults are constantly worried about the future, often at the expense of enjoying the present. This is not surprising, as parenting comes with a host of responsibilities. But the tendency to overemphasize planning can make parents less available in the moment, potentially affecting the quality of their interactions with their children.
Dr. Peter Gray, a researcher on the benefits of freedom in childhood learning, suggests that children develop best when they feel a sense of autonomy and freedom from excessive pressure and judgment (Gray, 2013). By setting aside time to focus on the present, parents allow for greater connection and joy, and children feel more secure and understood.
Actionable Tip: Try mindful parenting practices. This could mean setting aside a specific time each day when you intentionally focus on “being” with your child, free from screens, work, or planning for the future. These moments help both parent and child slow down and appreciate the present, creating space for real connection.
Trusting in Children’s Abilities and Perspectives
Many of the kids in the podcast expressed a desire for their parents to trust them more. Children are inherently curious and often capable of assessing their limits when given the chance. The philosophy at Voyagers’ Community School centers on respect for the child’s perspective and belief in their ability to make meaningful decisions about their learning and interactions.
Children feel more empowered and respected when parents step back and offer gentle guidance rather than control. Research from the Center for Childhood Creativity suggests that when children are given trust and room to explore, they develop stronger problem-solving skills, resilience, and a growth mindset (Hirsh-Pasek et al., 2003).
Actionable Tip: Let children make more choices. Whether it is picking out clothes, planning a weekend activity, or solving an age-appropriate problem independently, these opportunities help children feel valued and capable. By modeling trust, parents can foster a mutual respect that strengthens the parent-child relationship.
Embracing Curiosity Together
In the world of a child, every day is filled with discoveries. Parents often find themselves in the roles of teachers and guides, but there is much to be gained from embracing curiosity alongside children rather than directing it. According to educator Maria Montessori, children learn best through experiential learning, where curiosity guides the process (Montessori, 1967). At Voyagers’, the idea is that learning should be as much about the journey as it is about the destination. When parents embrace curiosity, they too engage in a lifelong learning process alongside their children.
Actionable Tip: Ask open-ended questions and explore answers together. Simple questions like, “Why do you think the sky is blue?” or “How do you think a tree grows?” invite both parent and child to think creatively and explore together, creating a partnership in learning that respects both perspectives.
Modeling Emotional Vulnerability
One of the most touching aspects of the podcast is the children’s observations of their parents’ stress and exhaustion. Children see these emotions and often feel they cannot express themselves. By modeling vulnerability, parents can show that feeling a range of emotions is okay. According to Brené Brown’s research on vulnerability, being open about our feelings builds trust and fosters resilience in children, teaching them that emotions are natural and manageable (Brown, 2012).
Actionable Tip: Talk openly with your children about emotions in a developmentally appropriate way. This might mean saying, “I’m feeling a little tired today, so let’s do something relaxing together.” Showing children that emotions are a normal part of life helps create a safe space for them to express their feelings without fear of judgment or dismissal.
In Conclusion: A Childlike Approach to Parenting
Trevor Noah’s conversation with children reveals some deeply held views that are both insightful and hopeful. Kids are not simply seeking less oversight; they are seeking connection, trust, and understanding from the adults in their lives. When we adopt a childlike perspective—one rooted in curiosity, present-moment joy, and trust—we create the kind of home where everyone thrives.
By bringing the philosophy of Voyagers’ Community School into everyday family life, parents can support their children’s growth and learning in ways that resonate deeply with who they are and who they are becoming. Through play, mindfulness, trust, curiosity, and openness, parents can guide and genuinely join their children on the journey of discovery. In this way, we move closer to a world where both parents and children can “chill out,” let go, and experience the wonder of life together.
References
1. Brown, S. (2009). Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul. New York: Avery.
2. Gray, P. (2013). Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life. Basic Books.
3. Hirsh-Pasek, K., Golinkoff, R., et al. (2003). A Mandate for Playful Learning in Preschool: Applying the Scientific Evidence. Oxford University Press.
4. Montessori, M. (1967). The Absorbent Mind. Holt, Rinehart, and Winston.
5. Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. Avery.